Why Love Without Suffering Is Incomplete
First Reading: Acts 14:21-27
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 144(145):8-13a
Second Reading: Apocalypse 21:1-5
Gospel: John 13:31-33,34-35
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Woody Allen, with his signature irony, once said: “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love.” While the tone is light-hearted, the truth it conveys is deep: real love entails vulnerability. Søren Kierkegaard developed this further, especially from a Christian standpoint, asserting that authentic love, what Scripture calls agapē, cannot exist without sacrifice. In other words, love is not merely proven in words or emotions, but in what one is willing to endure for the sake of the other. This brings us to the experience of daily life, where such love plays out in countless hidden forms; such as in the mother who loses sleep for her infant, a friend who stands by during illness or disgrace, a priest who continues to serve his pastoral duties despite the many hardships and challenges surrounding him, and even a Christian who continues to pray and serve when God’s presence seems absent. These are not examples of love despite suffering but love revealed through suffering, These situations reveal that love, far from being a mere sentiment, becomes most genuine and durable when it perseveres in the face of hardship. In real life, love is tested not by the beautiful moments we enjoy, but by the hard ones we endure. This raises a pressing question: can love be truly called love if it costs us nothing? Today’s liturgical readings help us understand that authentic love carries the weight of suffering. From the trials of the early Church, to the command of Jesus to love as He has loved, and finally to the apocalyptic vision of new life in God, Scripture shows us that suffering does not nullify love; it completes it.
In the First Reading (Acts 14:21 to 27), Paul and Barnabas returned to Lystra, Iconium, and Antioch, which were places they had earlier preached and even suffered persecution (cf. Acts 14:19). They tell the communities, “We must undergo many hardships before we enter the kingdom of God.” The Greek word used here for “hardships” is “θλίψεις” (thlipsis), often translated as tribulation or affliction. This term appears frequently in Pauline literature to describe the pressure and difficulty that characterize the Christian journey as seen in Romans 5:3 and more practically in 2 Corinthians 4:17ff. The “Sitz im Leben” (life’s setting) of our passage is the context of the nascent Church, facing hostility from both Jewish authorities and pagan society. Yet, amidst such adversity, love was not abandoned, it was deepened. Paul and Barnabas did not avoid suffering; they embraced it as integral to discipleship and as a way of forming authentic communities rooted in love. Thus, “thlipsis” (hardship) was not the opposite of love, but its crucible. Needless to say, to follow Christ is to love Him, and to love Him is to suffer with Him (cf. Philippians 1:29). The apostles are not merely administrators; they are witnesses who have bled for the Gospel they preach. The Gospel of Christ is inseparable from the Cross of Christ (cf. 1 Corinthians 2:2), and love that avoids suffering cannot claim to be apostolic.
In consonance, the Responsorial Psalm (Psalm 145) provides a lyrical contrast yet harmony with this message. It proclaims, “The Lord is kind and full of compassion, slow to anger and rich in mercy… The Lord is near to all who call upon him.” Here, the context is one of liturgical praise. Yet, it arises not from naïve optimism, but from the memory of Israel’s trials and God’s enduring fidelity. The Psalm affirms that divine love is not aloof from human suffering but enters into it. The word “compassion” here translates רַחוּם (rahum) in Hebrew, related to the word for womb (rehem), implying a tender, maternal love that feels the pain of the other as its own. This kind of love is not sentimental. It suffers with. It stands in solidarity. In connecting this Psalm with the first reading, we understand that God’s nearness does not eliminate tribulation but fills it with presence. Therefore, those who suffer for love or within love do not walk alone. Psalm 145 responds to thlipsis not by denying it but by surrounding it with the assurance of divine accompaniment.
The climax of this message is presented in Gospel reading (John 13:31 to 35), which takes us into the heart of the Paschal mystery. The “Sitz im Leben” is the Last Supper, right after Judas has left to betray Jesus. In this dark moment, Jesus declares, “Now is the Son of Man glorified.” Then comes the defining statement: “I give you a new commandment: love one another as I have loved you.” What makes the commandment “new” is not its content (cf. Leviticus 19:18) but its standard: as I have loved you. The Greek term used is ἀγαπάω (agapaō) in the imperative form, which implies a love that is self-giving, sacrificial, and unconditional. It is not rooted in affection or preference but in action and willingness to suffer. Jesus is not referring to emotional closeness but to the love that washes feet (John 13:5), that lays down life for friends (John 15:13), and that extends even to enemies. In the context of betrayal, Jesus offers not retaliation but a love that absorbs pain and redeems it. Hence, love that does not suffer loses the shape of the cross. The scandal here is that Jesus links His glorification not with triumph but with surrender. The Church is called to reflect this same cruciform love, especially within community life. Discipleship, therefore, is not about being right or comfortable, but about being broken for others. Love that cannot endure misunderstanding, persecution, or inconvenience is not the love Jesus commands.
And in order to offer the eschatological vision of what love (agapē) leads to, the Second Reading from Revelation 21:1 to 5a tells us that the old world of tears, pain, and death will pass away, and God will dwell fully with His people. “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” The Greek verb used here is ἐξαλείψει (exaleipsei), meaning to blot out completely, to erase. The new Jerusalem is not just a beautiful image but the result of faithful love live through thlipsis (hardship). It is important to see that the reward does not come by avoiding suffering but by loving through it; that explains why there would be a time for wiping away tears from the eyes of those who have endered hardship. The text also says, “The former things have passed away,” using the Greek ἀπῆλθον (apēlthon), implying final departure. The world as we know it, marked by betrayal, injustice, and sorrow, will be no more. Yet, it is love (costly, faithful love) that bridges the present suffering and future glory. Just as Christ was glorified in the moment of betrayal, so too will the Church be glorified when her love has passed through the fire (cf. 1 Peter 1:7).
Dear friends in Christ, to truly love is to be vulnerable, not because love fails, but because it gives. Do not be surprised if loving others costs your comfort, popularity, or personal plans. When love makes you weep, remember that God collects those tears (cf. Psalm 56:8). In your family, parish, or mission, choose to remain in love even when it hurts, for that is the moment it is most like Christ. Love your spouse when communication is hard. Love your community when appreciation is lacking. Love your enemies when they insult you. This is the love that reflects Jesus. And this is the love that prepares you for the new heavens and the new earth, where every suffering endured in love will be transfigured into eternal joy. And above all, remember that God’s promise is not to spare us from pain, but to dwell with us through it and transform it into joy. As such, any version of Christianity that separates love from suffering is not only incomplete but also unfaithful to the Gospel.
O that today you would listen to his VOICE, harden not your hearts! (Ps. 95:7)
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Shalom!
© Fr. Chinaka Justin Mbaeri, OSJ
Seminário Padre Pedro Magnone, São Paulo, Brazil
nozickcjoe@gmail.com / fadacjay@gmail.com
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